Ah the bird…
Glorious.
Magnificent.
Beautiful.
Insightful.
Spamming.
Other Things.

Of course, we all think of different things when we hear those magnificent words, some think of something like a falcon or sparrow. Others think of the awesome flipping bird. (click here for a very funny {but explicit} video about the bird, and how to flip it {again, it’s explicit})
Still others think of the chirp, or more specifically, the TWEET of a bird (I’m referring to twitter). It happens to be that these people know of a great evil, a looming presence of doom, of technology, of constantly blocked up servers, of strange spammers that follow you, of @squarespace.
Yes it’s true. There is a great evil lurking in the depths of the clogged twitter servers. @jluebbert said that “it’s amazing how everyone who usually hates spam completely sells out just for an iphone” but then procedes to sell his soul for the promised iPhone soon there after.

For those of you who are too lame to have a twitter, actually have a twitter but don’t use it, are anti-twitter, or just have no idea what I could possibly be talking about, let’s start from the very begining….

It was on some day this past month that the large webhost Squarespace.com decided to give out 30 iphones in 30 days to 30 people over twitter. The catch? You must include #squarespace in a tweet to be entered.

So I did. I tweeted (tweeted? or twote?). 14 tweets and 3 days later, no iPhone. Thanks for nothing, squarespace. I send in such creative 140 character tweets playing off of the Oscar Meyer b-o-l-o-g-n-a song, pleading them, even trying to bargin with them. But no. Instead some guy who enters once with a crappy entry wins. yeah. I know. All my hard work for nothing.

But the thing is, I have spent too much time on it. I’m pretty sure it’s a marketing ploy by twitter to try and over crowd their servers. Because honestly, who actually uses twitter for anything other than news, some random 140 letter comedy spurts, and, of course, contests.
It also could be total bull. I mean seriously, how do they choose the winner? There are way to many people to choose from! I’m now starting to think that these “winners” have already won… hmmm… Perhaps there is no hope for me after all? or maybe there is… yeah I’ll put my money on the fact that it is.

It could, nay, will, happen.

So, as most of you should know, yesterday was “Good Friday”, the day Jesus died. Being a guy who doesn’t go to church much (err, ever), I need some help understanding this whole “Good Friday” thing. Frankly, I don’t understand why the church decided to call it “Good Friday”. Personally, I think that’s being super redundant; aren’t all Fridays good? So, being the good christian I am (sarcasm folks), I propose a change. Yes, I think they should call “Good Friday” “Great Friday” or “Jesus Friday” or “Crucifixion Friday” or even “The-friday-that-public-schools-with-a-majority-of-christian-kids-and-private-christian-schools-get-off Friday”. That last one would be hard to legislate though.
Any way, today is Saturday, so rather than writing about today’s religious significance, I’ll write about sunday’s.
I love Easter. Well, I loved Easter. Kinda like finding out about the fat man in a red suit, the Easter Bunny’s lack of existence made me sad. I must say, too, that my parents were AMAZING Easter Bunnies- my sis’ and I were fooled for YEARS.
Any way, to me the best thing about Easter is the brunch. Often times my family and I will go and get an all-you-can-eat-which-usually-is-like-two-moderate-sized-plates-buffet buffet and have a very nice, non religious brunch. This year, however, we aren’t (boo…), but we might be going out to Chinese food.
Number two on my list of things-I-like-about-easter-list is water getting up to 100°C. By this, of course, I mean boiling eggs. This is awesome for the sole purpose of eating them, because just watching them spin gets pretty lame after a few hours. So, as my father cracked into the first egg of the season, he preformed a feat preformed by no man in history: he cracked the egg into two exact parts. No joke, check it:

The amazing skill of my father

Pretty cool, eh? This leads me to my next order of business. Ending this post. It’s over. Right now.

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
Let me apologize for not mentioning the fact that I was gone for a week-and-some-days. However, there is no cause for alarm, as Itsalloso.com’s blog is now back in service.

Sexy.

SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS
Blog.
Actually, the blog.
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