Mmmm… SPAM… Everyone’s favourite canned meat product. Yes, SPAM is one of the most widely consumed foods in America… from Boyscout camping trips to the Native American reservation, every good american has had spam at one point in time in his/her life. Yes, even I, AJ Di, Professional blogger, have had a spam burger… it was ^really nasty.

Yeah.

It tasted like crap.

It was almost as bad as virtual spam, something I’ve been getting a lot of.

Yes, you may not notice it, but itsalloso has a lot of spam. Actually, you probably can’t notice it, because I am the only admin besides Jack (my partner in crime).
The interesting thing is, the spammers are getting trickier… by putting in comments that could-actually-be-real-but-probably-aren’t-because-they-don’t-pertain-to-the-topic-of-the-blog-post.
Take this one, for example, sent in by “Alex_mag”:
“Nice work! I’ll have to do a cross post on this one ”.
I read this comment and was kinda happy someone enjoyed the post and wanted to write about it. But, then I saw it was about my Twitter post (I’m sorry)(<that’s the post name). HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO A CROSS POST ON A QUICK NOTE OF BEING ON TWITTER?!?

I don’t know.
I suppose my logical thinking skills leave a lot to be desired.
Oh well, looks like I better start doing suduku.

Ah the bird…
Glorious.
Magnificent.
Beautiful.
Insightful.
Spamming.
Other Things.

Of course, we all think of different things when we hear those magnificent words, some think of something like a falcon or sparrow. Others think of the awesome flipping bird. (click here for a very funny {but explicit} video about the bird, and how to flip it {again, it’s explicit})
Still others think of the chirp, or more specifically, the TWEET of a bird (I’m referring to twitter). It happens to be that these people know of a great evil, a looming presence of doom, of technology, of constantly blocked up servers, of strange spammers that follow you, of @squarespace.
Yes it’s true. There is a great evil lurking in the depths of the clogged twitter servers. @jluebbert said that “it’s amazing how everyone who usually hates spam completely sells out just for an iphone” but then procedes to sell his soul for the promised iPhone soon there after.

For those of you who are too lame to have a twitter, actually have a twitter but don’t use it, are anti-twitter, or just have no idea what I could possibly be talking about, let’s start from the very begining….

It was on some day this past month that the large webhost Squarespace.com decided to give out 30 iphones in 30 days to 30 people over twitter. The catch? You must include #squarespace in a tweet to be entered.

So I did. I tweeted (tweeted? or twote?). 14 tweets and 3 days later, no iPhone. Thanks for nothing, squarespace. I send in such creative 140 character tweets playing off of the Oscar Meyer b-o-l-o-g-n-a song, pleading them, even trying to bargin with them. But no. Instead some guy who enters once with a crappy entry wins. yeah. I know. All my hard work for nothing.

But the thing is, I have spent too much time on it. I’m pretty sure it’s a marketing ploy by twitter to try and over crowd their servers. Because honestly, who actually uses twitter for anything other than news, some random 140 letter comedy spurts, and, of course, contests.
It also could be total bull. I mean seriously, how do they choose the winner? There are way to many people to choose from! I’m now starting to think that these “winners” have already won… hmmm… Perhaps there is no hope for me after all? or maybe there is… yeah I’ll put my money on the fact that it is.

It could, nay, will, happen.

My letter to the Tropicana Juice company:

To begin, I’d like to compliment you on your consistent quality of delicious juices. Your brand has consistently provided quality products, until recently, when I accidentally picked up a carton of Trop50. Being an orange juice addict myself, I was very disappointed to find that the person who picks up the groceries in our house accidentally picked up a carton of this new type of juice. In my humble opinion, the removal of sugar from something that naturally contains sugar is rather silly, but then, to make up for the loss in sweetness with the use of an natural foreign sweetener is just outrageous. I understand that this could be a potential market for you, and being unaware of the success of this product, I do not anticipate you making many changes to this product, if any at all. However, I have been wondering what it is that compelled you to package the Trop50 with the same exact container/colour scheme as your original orange juice product. I strongly feel that you should make a slight modification to this, as to prevent a mistake in purchasing by another unsuspecting victim. Thank you very much for your time and attention to my opinion.
-AJ

JUSTICE SHALL PREVAIL!

I would like to come out to you all. I, AJ, am an addict. Yes, I have an addiction. It isn’t to liquor, or drugs, no no… it is orange juice. I drink OJ like one might drink water, breathe, or blink: without thinking. Yes, I go through about 2 cartons a week, and when anyone else tries to get it from me, I cry. I HAVE A PROBLEM!!!
Apparently, someone has been trying to break my addiction, because recently, the one who does our shopping in our house, purchased an abnormally long carton of OJ. As it turns out, the reason it was so strange and long was due to the different type of OJ. Not just a small difference, like the amount of pulp, but a GIANT difference: they took out 50% of the sugar!! How dare you Tropicana ruin the name of OJ by using faux-gar (fake sugar)?? Did some demon send you a pay off? You think you can get away with this just as fresca did with the whole “this is not a diet drink thing”? Oh sure, no artificial sweeteners, but no flavor, sweetness, or juice
So it it I who must ask you: what madman purchases this consciously? Must we civil men and women live amongst those who commit such sins to the juice god? How can an evil such as this not have been made into a straight-to-dvd movie involving some sort of giant snake or Disney princess? It is an atrocity when such things go unnoticed by Hollywood.
Thankfully, most realize this evil and don’t look at the Tropicana50, for fear of burning to ashes. Justdo a google image searchfor it and see that you find but two pictures.

It is now that I must retire due to my fever from the anger brought up because of this OJ. But before I do, I will write a letter of complaint to those who soil the good name of orange juice. It shall be answered, and I shall post it on itsalloso.