Ahh the moustache… so elegant, so beautiful, so moustache-y. Not only is it the ultimate in fashion, it is also the ultimate disguise. Take a look:

Notice how the moustache adds a slight twinkle to my eye and also makes my eyes even more white?* Not only that, but my upper lip is safe from the cold winter airs. Also, I implore you to look at the structure of my face. With the simple addition of a moustache it changes so much that it could fool the government. Like, if I was ever a robber, the police would pass me and say, “Hey Jim, that guy looked like the infamous robber, AJ, but not to worry, he had a totally different facial complexion and a moustache.”
Besides, EVERYONE knows that people with moustaches are the most successful people on earth! Just take a look at this list of famous moustaches:
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