I would like to come out to you all. I, AJ, am an addict. Yes, I have an addiction. It isn’t to liquor, or drugs, no no… it is orange juice. I drink OJ like one might drink water, breathe, or blink: without thinking. Yes, I go through about 2 cartons a week, and when anyone else tries to get it from me, I cry. I HAVE A PROBLEM!!!
Apparently, someone has been trying to break my addiction, because recently, the one who does our shopping in our house, purchased an abnormally long carton of OJ. As it turns out, the reason it was so strange and long was due to the different type of OJ. Not just a small difference, like the amount of pulp, but a GIANT difference: they took out 50% of the sugar!! How dare you Tropicana ruin the name of OJ by using faux-gar (fake sugar)?? Did some demon send you a pay off? You think you can get away with this just as fresca did with the whole “this is not a diet drink thing”? Oh sure, no artificial sweeteners, but no flavor, sweetness, or juice
So it it I who must ask you: what madman purchases this consciously? Must we civil men and women live amongst those who commit such sins to the juice god? How can an evil such as this not have been made into a straight-to-dvd movie involving some sort of giant snake or Disney princess? It is an atrocity when such things go unnoticed by Hollywood.
Thankfully, most realize this evil and don’t look at the Tropicana50, for fear of burning to ashes. Justdo a google image searchfor it and see that you find but two pictures.

It is now that I must retire due to my fever from the anger brought up because of this OJ. But before I do, I will write a letter of complaint to those who soil the good name of orange juice. It shall be answered, and I shall post it on itsalloso.