Ah the bird…
Glorious.
Magnificent.
Beautiful.
Insightful.
Spamming.
Other Things.

Of course, we all think of different things when we hear those magnificent words, some think of something like a falcon or sparrow. Others think of the awesome flipping bird. (click here for a very funny {but explicit} video about the bird, and how to flip it {again, it’s explicit})
Still others think of the chirp, or more specifically, the TWEET of a bird (I’m referring to twitter). It happens to be that these people know of a great evil, a looming presence of doom, of technology, of constantly blocked up servers, of strange spammers that follow you, of @squarespace.
Yes it’s true. There is a great evil lurking in the depths of the clogged twitter servers. @jluebbert said that “it’s amazing how everyone who usually hates spam completely sells out just for an iphone” but then procedes to sell his soul for the promised iPhone soon there after.

For those of you who are too lame to have a twitter, actually have a twitter but don’t use it, are anti-twitter, or just have no idea what I could possibly be talking about, let’s start from the very begining….

It was on some day this past month that the large webhost Squarespace.com decided to give out 30 iphones in 30 days to 30 people over twitter. The catch? You must include #squarespace in a tweet to be entered.

So I did. I tweeted (tweeted? or twote?). 14 tweets and 3 days later, no iPhone. Thanks for nothing, squarespace. I send in such creative 140 character tweets playing off of the Oscar Meyer b-o-l-o-g-n-a song, pleading them, even trying to bargin with them. But no. Instead some guy who enters once with a crappy entry wins. yeah. I know. All my hard work for nothing.

But the thing is, I have spent too much time on it. I’m pretty sure it’s a marketing ploy by twitter to try and over crowd their servers. Because honestly, who actually uses twitter for anything other than news, some random 140 letter comedy spurts, and, of course, contests.
It also could be total bull. I mean seriously, how do they choose the winner? There are way to many people to choose from! I’m now starting to think that these “winners” have already won… hmmm… Perhaps there is no hope for me after all? or maybe there is… yeah I’ll put my money on the fact that it is.

It could, nay, will, happen.

Today’s post is about new and old techy toys that will get you beat up. In fact, some of these are so lame, they should be banished from the world. So, without further ado, the list:
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FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
Let me apologize for not mentioning the fact that I was gone for a week-and-some-days. However, there is no cause for alarm, as Itsalloso.com’s blog is now back in service.

Sexy.

SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS
Blog.
Actually, the blog.
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Ahh Apple… everyone’s favourite computer company. I mean Just look at that sexy logo! Who woulda’ thunk it? And charging thousands for a computer? How GENIUS! But in all seriousness, Apple has started to get on my nerves recently.
…Flash bacK…
It all started when I was, well, the same age as I am now, when the big Steve Jobs in the sky came down and showed us the iPhone 3G. It had been completely redesigned, with only a few minor changes. Okay, I get that, but couldn’t you have signed a deal with t-mobile? PLEASE??? It saddens me that I can only use the iTouch, and only my first gen at that. Then they come out with the new Macbook pro… the slickest badass machine out there. It’s so sweet, it has a multi-touch track pad, which means it has an interface more like the iPhone and iTouch. But OF COURSE Apple must charge $2,000 for the lowest. Why Apple? WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME WITH YOUR AWESOME EXPENSIVE STUFF?? ARE TWO NVIDIA GRAPHICS CARDS REALLY NECESSARY? But yes. They are. What if some day I need to edit HD videos in HD? What will I do? I’ll think to my self, damn… I should have bought that Macbook…
Then Steve leaves. He leaves! Just thinking about that makes me a bit sad…

So I would now like to present Apple with a list of things I want done NOW.

1) Give me a computer that I can afford.
Seriously, I need to be able to afford your stuff! What do you think I make money off of this blog? SERIOUSLY!!!

2) Allow me to have songs filed under multiple artists in iTunes
This is something I REALLY want done in iTunes, mainly because I listen to mashup (more about that later), and also, I have several songs that feature someone, and I want to see who they are on my computer and ipod.

3) Bring back the search feature on iPods
My little sisters Ipod nano 2nd generation has a nifty little tool to let her search her music to find things she wants to listen to. Considering the fact that I have 30gigs of music, it gets a bit difficult to find the exact song I want to listen to in under 2 minutes.

4) Stick the iPhone on other networks
I am a proud user of t-mobile, despite the occasional dead zones in school and the lack of any nice phones excluding the google phone. I NEED AN IPHONE!!! I might never be able to live again if Apple doesn’t at least give me the chance to get one, so let’s see some other networks, please?

5) Let me rent tv shows
Honestly, I don’t enjoy re-watching and re-watching the same crappy episode over and over again, and as far as I know you can’t get to hulu on an iPod, or an iPhone/iTouch.

6) Redesign the iTouch one more time
Not that I know anything about design, but next iTouch, include a built-in mic, and a camera, making it more like a skype phone than an ATT phone. Also, a little more memory and smaller price would be fantastic.

And lastly,
7) I want to see Jobs give the keynote.
Must I explain?